That Annoying Toad
by LeThorne
Summary: A series of short snippets for Umbridge haters. Rated T for language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

This is where my ideas on different ways to get rid of Umbridge go (in story form). They won't be long, but whatever. One idea per chapter, feel free to use them as long as you credit me. The lights dim, and the curtains split, revealing LeThorne.

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><p>LeThorne: Hey guys! I'm just here to let you know that JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, not me! On with the show!<p>

Harry Potter in: That Annoying Toad!

Harry Potter had had enough. That awful, no good, yellow bellied toad HAD to go. But how to do it…

***Daydream***

"Hem Hem. Detention, Mr. Potter!"

Harry was livid. "What the bloody hell did I do?"

"Make that two, Mr. Potter."

Harry pulled out his six shooter, checked to make sure it was loaded, and turned off the safety. *BANG* The Umbitch was dead, her brains splattered all over the wall…

***End Daydream***

"Nah, too obvious. Don't want to go to Azkaban…"

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><p>I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME, ON THAT! ANNOYING! TOAD!<p>

Fin. (for now)


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Chapter 2! I'm keeping these chapters short so that I don't get blocked in the middle of writing one and lose my inspiration to write the story entirely. As always, JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, not little old me.

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><p>That Annoying Toad: Part 2<p>

'Hmm… I have to be able to think of a more subtle way to get rid of Umbridge…' Harry, still beyond furious at Umbridge, was still trying to think of a way to get rid of her. 'Hmm… maybe I should slip Snape a love potion… that would kill her for sure,' Harry thought, 'but then again that might be too cruel of a fate… then again, maybe it's exactly what she deserves, and the greasy git as well.'

***Daydream***

Harry was sitting in the Great Hall, talking to Hermione about their latest History of Magic assignment, when all of a sudden Snape burst into the Great Hall. He was dressed in his normal black robes, but he had actually washed his hair… and was smiling. Harry shuddered, 'that just isn't right.' Snape walked up to the Umbitch and conjured a bouquet of roses, saying "Dolores, my dearest darling, would you care to accompany me to Hogsmeade this next weekend?"

She looked repulsed, and then fell over dead.

***End Daydream***

'Nah, that wouldn't work, Snape always checks his food and drink for potions.'

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><p>I'm LeThorne, and we'll see you next time, on That! Annoying! Toad!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

I'm back again, and soon! I'm really enjoying writing this story, and figured I would post again ere I go to sleep (It's 12:58 AM here ^.^) As always, JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, not me.

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><p><strong>That Annoying Toad: Part 3<strong>

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><p>'Hmm… wouldn't it be great if Umbridge got hit by a lorry?'<p>

***Daydream***

"Damn muggles… why do my cats have to be so picky about their food? No one else had to go get their cats muggle food… Ah, there it is. Hopefully there aren't too many muggles in there. I do so hate their stench." Umbridge was angry. Here she was, a pureblooded witch, and she had to go out into muggle London to get food for her cats. As such, she wasn't paying too much attention.

*SMACK*

"Looks like you done killed her, Jim!"

"We'll have to get rid of the body, quick, throw her in the back…"

***Fade to black, end daydream***

'That would be so convenient, but that's probably not going to happen. On to the next idea.'

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><p>That's it for today folks, I'm tired. Thanks for reading,<p>

LeThorne


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! I'm back again! As always, I don't own anything. On with the story!

That Annoying Toad: Part 4

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><p>'Hmm…'<p>

***Daydream***

Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, having a staring match with Umbridge, eyes blazing with hatred. Suddenly, Hagrid knocked over her pumpkin juice, spilling it all over her.

"FOOL! Do you know what you've done? I'MMM MEEEEEEEEEEELTING! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLTING! AHHHHHhhhh…"

And she was dead. "Well, that's one way to get rid of a wicked witch." The students of Hogwarts, even Slytherin house, all stood, clapped, and cheered.

***End Daydream***

'Heh. I wish.'

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><p>Thanks to Simevra Lestrange for giving me the idea for this chapter, although I changed it a bit.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Hey there! I don't own anything.

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><p>That Annoying Toad: Part 5<p>

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><p>'Hmm… how to kill her next? I can't decide.'<p>

***Daydream***

Umbridge was walking up the Grand Staircase, and the stairs in front of her moved away. 'Here's my opportunity!' A beam of light came seemingly out of nowhere, hitting Umbridge and tripped her.

"AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…" Splat.

…

'Perfect.'

***End Daydream***

'Might actually be able to get away with that one.'

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><p>I'll see you next time.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

I'm back… but I still don't own anything.

That Annoying Toad: Part 5

'AHA! The perfect idea!'

***Daydream***

In the great hall, as Umbridge was eating her breakfast, a nondescript owl dropped a portkey on her head. Next thing she knew, she was somewhere in the Midwestern States, in a forest. She heard a mighty buzzing noise, and then a mosquito the size of a golden retriever was upon her, shrugging off her frantic spells, and then impaling her.

***End Daydream***

'Hmm… I don't know if she actually deserves that horrible fate…'

I'm back, and hopefully I'll be writing a bit more now, as I've now graduated high school. It's mosquito season in Indiana again, and sometimes it seems like our mosquitos really do get that big. I'll see you next time.


End file.
